I was told recently “LOVE IS AN ACTION.”

I have spent most of my life believing that Love is an emotion. I have tried to approach all of my relationships through this belief. Through the belief that Love is “patient, kind, thinks of good, nurtures, validates, rejoices in truth, is powerful, overcomes all, bares all, endures all,” believes, is not a braggart, is not egocentric, does not think of evil, does not like inequality, and does not tear down or destroy (although may prune from time to time). So, I was  by the statement “Love is an action word.”

I have learned that if I have a problem with anything, the first place to look is inside of me and then at that with which I have the problem. Many times in my life I have found that my problems with things around me lies in my perceptions and beliefs. Once I adjust my perspective, things around me seem less problematic. So first, I have to think about how this applies to me.

If I treat myself poorly, I feel poorly, regardless of my original emotions and or intentions regarding myself. So, if I have the emotion of love for myself and then treat myself poorly, I create conflict that cannot be reconciled. In this dynamic, I cannot survive for long. The only way I can fully love myself is to fully feel love and act with love. In that way Love goes full circle.

As I apply this to my relationships, I realize that Love is vital. In a relationship, as I have described above regarding self, if Love is just a feeling, and not an action, it does not fully exist. This is why conflict exists when either person does not act with Love. So, I have to agree that, Love is an emotion that manifests or becomes whole through action.

It is said that we, as humans seek to experience Love, because to “have lived and not loved is to not have lived at all.”  

If Love is an emotion and an action, it basically embodies a trinity; it has to be felt, given, and received to fully exist. If I cannot manifest Love for myself, I often will try to find in or from others that part of Love that I cannot create or enjoy. This puts my relationships with them in an impossible situation of trying to resolve my inner conflict which thwarts my ability to give Love and does not allow that relationship to fully embody Love; which means that it does not fully exist. Another way to say that is that all 3 aspects of love must exist for a relationship to not be in conflict.

This brings us back to my original point – we must fully Love ourselves to then be able to Love others. Feel, seek, and co-create (the action) the trinity and you will not be disappointed.

G. Cole