12 Aug Unconditional Love: The Cause Behind Focus and Anger Issues
I know what you are saying – WHAT? How could unconditional love affect my focus, concentration and anger?
In reality, these are interconnected in a variety of ways.
First, the primary cause of focus and anger issues is fear. Our nervous system’s job is to help us survive, which means looking out for things that might “hurt” us or stop us from succeeding at what we are doing.
In today’s world, survival has many different faces. We don’t just worry about lions, tigers and bears… we worry about how many likes we have on Facebook, if our looks are up to par, or if we’re good enough to be invited out and included by our community.
Thoughts pop up throughout our daily lives. For example, while I’m cooking dinner, I might be interrupted by thoughts of my checking account balance, or my work, which have nothing to do with the task at hand of making food. If we continue to allow such worries, these thoughts and behavior patterns build on each other and can become pervasive. Anger comes in when anything does not go the way we expect it to, think it should, or want it to go.
Our understandings, perceptions and expectations drive these fears. For example, you might accept that you are only “ok” if you don’t believe you are popular or attractive. What you’re actually doing is not just making an observation, you’re letting other people decide if you are “ok”. These other people aren’t able to give you the approval that you’re so desperately are seeking. In fact, they are desperately seeking it themselves; they too, are scared.
This dynamic is present in so many facets of our lives. Society is dominated by this, perhaps best demonstrated by the rise of “influencers” and the millions of dollars these influencers make to literally give their approval, or disapproval. This dynamic drives us to look outside ourselves, and find events, places, institutions and people to validate us. This perceived approval may make us feel safe and loved in the moment, but it’s a false sense of security.
Acceptance and Unconditional Love
So how to you find true acceptance? The answer is through unconditional love. If you make a habit of puttting conditions on whether you are good enough or worthy to feel safe and “ok”, then those conditions will always hold you back.
To counteract this fear-causing dynamic, it is important to get our validation from within ourselves. You do this by not comparing yourself to others. By realizing that there will always be someone who triggers insecurity. No one is immune to questioning themselves and second guessing, not even Kylie Jenner.
Living in full acceptance of oneself takes effort. It requires us to fully accept ourselves as we are, knowing that we are a work in progress, and that is ok. Once we accept ourselves with unconditional love, we can be loving and nurturing to ourselves, and help ourselves grow into the people we want to be (not the people society wants us to be).
Putting conditions and expectations on ourselves and others causes us to react in anger, frustration or sadness when we or they do not “measure up”.
We hear it all the time, “give yourself a break” or “give me a break”. These platitudes are asking you to accept yourself as you are, or accept me as I am. From there, we can work on being better. When we arrive to this place, focusing on being happy (rather than angry) becomes much easier.
The Pathwaves Neuroempowerment™ protocol is very successful at rectifying these sorts of issues. If you’d like to learn how you can accelerate change through our methodology, we are here to help. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation today and begin your journey away from just surviving, and into thriving.